Cute vs. Cute: Rumble in the Concrete Jungle!

That's right. The time you have all been waiting for on the edge of your keyboards has finally arrived. It is time for BATTLE, my minions! I mean, readers! I give you:

LEONARD VS. ELIZA:

In the war of cute, everyone wins.

As you all know, I spend my days entirely surrounded by cute. Boatloads of cute. Nauseatingly intense amounts of cute here, people. I am finally starting to be desensitized to it, but I figured I'd better share the joy with all of you before I lose the ability to see adorableness and instead see only tiny creatures who have little to no control over their bodily functions.

So here's the rules: I took my camera with me to two very typical afternoons, one at work with Eliza (with the boss's permission) and one with Leonard and Sam (who had no say in the matter). If you're feeling up for a little interactive blogging, vote for the winner in the comments, and at some point I will post a photo montage of said winner enjoying a tasty treat and looking lovingly into the camera. Who doesn't wanna see that??!!

(Wrestling announcer voice.... go!)

LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aaaand in this corner, weighing in at about 22 pounds, a drooler bruiser, the crawler who's a brawler, iiiiiiiiiiiiiit's Baby Eliza!

Contrary to what this picture implies, Eliza is not actually terrified of me and my horsey smile.

See! She lurvs me. And the shiny, shiny camera.

Eliza, at the time of these photos, had just entered the teething phase. Now she has become a slobbering, chewing beast, and I yearn for the halcyon days when a few minutes of this toy (named "the piglet star" by her mother) was enough to take her mind off things.

"Those bug toys just out of my reach are clearly the BEST TOYS EVER. I wants them!"

"Amy, don't move that round thing, I was talking to my friend! How rude."

This is one of my favorite pictures, because this is Eliza's default expression. She's really that happy of a baby! I could go on and on about how I have the best day job in the world, but after these pictures I don't think anyone would disagree with me. So I won't. On to our other contender!

(again, wrestling voice)

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand in THIS corner, weighing in at, um, somewhere under 40 pounds, the whale with no tail, Scary & Hairy, iiiiiiiiiiiiit's Leonard the Dog!

Ok, yes, there is no dog in this picture. Let me explain: this is the park down the street from us, with its awesome wading pool fountain that Sam, Leonard and I were sitting by to cool off on the appointed afternoon. I had the brilliant idea that Sam should take his best buddy Leonard over for a drink, since they were both hot and thirsty. This is what Sam thought of the idea:

Aw, he loves me so much.

Leonard seems up for the idea, though! And yes, he did lick the camera at this point.

After cleaning off the lens slobber, Sam continued to try and talk me out of my apparently crazy idea. I didn't want to hurt their epic bro-mance, but in the name of science I demanded that they sally forth in search of brave new worlds... and cute photo opportunities.

Off they go!

Aaaaaaaand that's as close as they got. Sam thinks he's funny. Don't worry internet, he'll be punished.

After I "scarred poor Leonard for life" by suggesting he slake his thirst, he got some comfort from his one true Sam love. Can't you just see the love?

Oh, and Leonard now loves Sam so much that he lives in Sam's closet. Seriously. We had to clean all of Sam's shoes off the floor and move the dog bed in there, cuz Leonard just kept weaseling his way in and laying down. It's a little disconcerting at night to have those shiny eyes in the depths of the closet, but otherwise its kind of amazing.

Ok, that's the ballgame. Now I do realize that the Leonard portion of this battle is really a tag team of Leonard and Sam, but since they're attached at the hip there wasn't much I could do about that. I think together they make a pretty decent showing, though. Vote for your favorite. Or not. And I shall soon declare the winner. Or not. Either way, I think we can all agree that I have a very cute-filled life at this point, and that I'm going to need to do something very gritty and urban to keep from turning into a carebear or something.

Love to all!

Penance

Here's the dealio, internet followers: I kind of feel guilty for the extreme degree to which I geeked out on y'all last post. It was fairly epic, even for me. So when, on Tuesday, Sam and I decided to have an adventure on my last day of vacation, I vowed to bring the camera along and document it for you, the voracious voyeuristic public. So I did.  And what adventure could possibly be manly enough to make up for musical theatre? Oh, I dunno, how about.... DINOSAURS! ROOOAAAAAAR!

Yep, we went to the American Museum of Natural History aka Dinoland. This is a trip I've wanted to make since the moment we landed in New York because, lowly creature that I am, I have never seen a real dino skeleton. Or an even remotely realistic approximation. Having watched Jurassic Park on a wall-sized television a few nights before had only added to my dinolust. I took waaaaay too many pictures of our adventures, but I've broken them down into simple, easy to follow along categories. I'm sorry the pictures are kind of small, but do you have any idea how long it takes to upload photos to this thing?! Feel lucky you have images at all, lowly readers. 

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!

For the first time here at NewCoast, we have a special guest extra special extra post! That's right, see the post below this one for a surprise feature that I guarantee will tickle your funny bone in all the right places. But now, on to the main event! 

DINOLAND

First Stop: Awesome Stuff!

This is a fossil of a tiny flying dinosaur. I think it looks like a cross between an angel and a dragon, and the color is beautiful to boot!

I had to sneak past a security guard to get this picture, since the hall was closed. What security guard, you ask? You know, the teeny-tiny little white dot under the dino's tummy. Lesson we learned: dinosaurs were really freakin' huge.

Best part about this picture? The dino's tail kept going another good five feet over my head, getting thinner and thinner as it went. Also, gotta love artificial footprints. Such authenticity!

The T-Rex speaks for itself. Look at those arms! Oh wait, you can't, they're too tiny! Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

I found myself wondering if this guy just carried around whole tree trunks... in case he needed a snack or something.

DEATH FROM ABOVE!

Second Stop: Sam Reactions

"Those jaws perplex me on many levels. But I can't move, or he'll eat that kid!"

"Run, lady with the camera! Save yourself!"

"What a noble and handsome beast.... hmm? What giant elk? What are you talking about?"

Third Stop: I Don't Know What That Is, But It Really Wants To Eat Me

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Nooooooooooooo!

Ok, at least this one is big and ridiculous enough for me to...

Aaaaaaaah, it has a baby! Run for your life!

If.... I don't move.... it'll just.... keep... climbing............................... right?

The whale duck! The whale duck! It can swim, it can walk, it can fly, NOWHERE IS SAFE!!

Fourth Stop: Fun With Signs

Alas, no one remembers Tyrannosaurus's older brother: Albert.

Sam had spent 15 minutes the day before explaining how big dinosaurs had two brains. He found out the hard way that the internet is a dirty, filthy liar.

I mean, when would that NOT be handy???

Ah yes, the noble Patriotus NewEnglandus

Ponies are also dinosaurs! Little girls of the world, boys may no longer make fun of your pony obsession! Take to the streets!

Wow. Bunnysaurus. I want one... don't you?

Last Stop: Random Town

For some reason I had a really strong mental image of these slathered in BBQ sauce. I grossed myself out real good with that one.

Ah, my favorite kind of dinosaur: fill in the blank! I shall name him Imaginosaurus.

Ok, this picture didn't turn out very well. Allow me to explain: the little white piece of paper explains that the actual skeleton that's supposed to be here is on loan to another museum, so the drawing is temporarily replacing it. And what is the drawing of? An eagle. Eating a pony. Let me repeat: An eagle ... eating ... a pony. Science is awesome.

And with that, our adventure drew to a close. We wandered around Central Park for a bit... what's that? Why yes, you can see some lovely photos. Here ya go!

All in all, a most glorious adventure. I wish there was a way to show you pics from the amazing planetarium they have there, but maybe I'll save that for another post. Don't forget to scroll down for the Extra Special Extra Post! You know you wanna. 

Love to all

Sam, Sam, Diorama Man

Here we have the special bonus of today's post: Sam's Diorama Extravaganza! 

Now all of you ought to be aware that Sam and I have been together for quite some time. I mean, when we started dating Pluto was still a planet. So it's not very often that we surprise each other. Today, however, I learned something very new and pretty dang surprising: Sam has a real thing for dioramas. You know, those weird little "nature windows" full of stuffed creatures that are creepily lifelike, but juuuuuuust off enough to constantly remind you "yep, I'm dead. No comin' back to life for me!" I kind of assumed we'd be skimming over that part of the museum, cuz we're wussy wusses who don't like looking at dead things. Well, Sam really really likes them. In diorama form. Apparently. So I decided to hand the camera over to him for awhile, to introduce you all to the wonderful world of dioramas. 

Take it away, Sam!

I never knew that my love of dioramas was an uncommon love.  How could these little vignettes  of nature not be awesome?

This is a kind of vole native to Africa.  It might have been my favorite part of the Museum.  It was hidden in some tall grass right between..

... these defensive Ostrich parents...

... and this group of egg seeking Warthogs.  Does the vole know he is in the path of imminent danger?  Did he happen upon that branch?  Or is he perhaps some kind of peace keeper?  Is he there to make sure the Birds and the Boars Suspend Hostilities?  We will never know, but I salute you, small African Vole.  I salute you.

It doesn't really come through in the picture, but this is a large pack of Wild Dogs staring intently at a heard of Zebra painted on the wall.  They seem to be maybe a mile away, but these guys are ready.

This guy gave me a bad feeling.  He was just sitting there, looking around like that.  I thought that he might be up to no good.  Then I saw his buddy.

Yep, they were definitely bandits of some kind.

This is a falcon nesting in the cliffs on the New Jersey side of the Hudson river as it was one hundred years ago.  They almost left the area entirely, but they are now making a come back.  They are building nests on apartments near Central Park.

The noble turkey.  He was so close to being our national bird.  Oh for the America that could have been...

See Below...

I was disappointed that these were not some kind of flying duck/dog.

These Bald Eagles are fighting over some particularly fake looking King Salmon.  They remind me of home.  Fighting off raptors for my next meal...

(hehehehe... this is amy. I made him keep this one. Sam is apparently running out of things to say.)

Amy has always said that if she were an animals she would be a goose.  I felt obliged to photograph these elegant wonders of the natural kingdom.  Their babies look really funny.

This bird was trying to hide at the very top of the window and I had to photograph it from a funny angle.  Tricky tricky tricky bird.

This is a male impala.  I took the picture because this is exactly how Leonard lays down.  Back legs a little to one side.  One front leg straight out and the other with the paw tucked under.  It's eerie.

Aaaaaaaand now I, Amy, have reclaimed the blog. Hope you all enjoyed the guest star... who knows when that'll happen again?

Love to all

Legends of the Music Hall... see what I did there? So clever.

WARNING:

This blog post, should you choose to accept it, is filled to the brim with the sort of utterly indulgent musical theatre geek dorkery that would abhor and offend even my theatre major friends. If you, the non-dork, attempt to read it, you may self-destruct in 30 seconds.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

Ok, I think it's just us dorks now. Hi guys. Let me break it down for you: tonight was an amazing and historic occasion for me on many levels. First, Sam and I went to Lincoln Center for the first time (even with all the construction, so lovely!). Second, we saw the New York Philharmonic... with BARBARA COOK!

*cricket chirp* *cricket chirp*

oh come on, dorks! Barbara Cook? The original Marian the Librarian? Music Man, people, get with the program here! You know, this lady (yes, you have to follow a link the old fashioned way. Don't get your knickers in a twist):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0vggMCiJfs

Are you with me yet?  Ok class, follow along:

Barbara Cook was a leading lady in Broadway's golden age, starting in 1948. She's most famous, however, for the second stage of her career: after Shirley Jones was cast in the movie version of Music Man over Cook, the leading roles started fading away, leading to Cook to virtually disappear from the stage for decades. Struggles with depression and obesity, starting in the 60's, did not help matters, and she nearly stopped acting altogether, emerging only to teach master voice classes at Julliard. Then in the late 70's somebody convinced somebody to let her have her own Carnegie Hall concert, and the theatre dork world has been obsessed with her rich, nuanced concert interpretations of the standards ever since. She's worked with all the great theatre composers, most famously with Sondheim, and is the only pop artist to ever perform at the Metropolitan Opera. Basically, she's a big deal, yo. 

So when I got an email with an offer for super discounted tickets to hear her with the Philharmonic (and in the middle of my week off, to boot!) I snapped up the opportunity. I mean, the woman is 83, how much longer will she be performing? Now I'll admit, in recordings her style has always been on and off; she got her start in operettas, and her voice has retained that high, wobbly quality that, for me, is hit or miss. So I mostly approached the evening as a "it won't blow me away, but how could I not?" sort of experience. For example, this is the kind of performance for which she's known:

Beautiful, sure, but would I ever want a CD of that? eh. 

Well smack me silly and call me Shirley, I am eating humble pie tonight. I've never enjoyed a concert more in my entire freakin' life. No one bothered to tell me that this woman was a warm, charming, charismatic performer with a penchant for the music of the south (she's a native Georgian), and a genius for interpretation. Ok, every critic in the world told me that last bit, but I didn't listen, ok?

I wish there were better youtube clips of her from the last year or so, I can't really describe the evening accurately. Ok, let me give you a play by play: first it's just the Philharmonic, doing a Music Man medley (btw, the conductor was also the pianist. And he wore a velvet jacket, and he marched all the way through "76 Trombones". Loved it!). The music is lush and filling the enormous, packed to the gills concert hall, when out of nowhere this tiny woman (well, tiny to me anyway) walks onstage and starts softly singing "Till There Was You". As the song progresses, her voice changes from the sort of wispy, talk-singing you expect of an 80 year old grandmother, to a... god, I don't know.... a river. A river of music, just flowing along with the orchestra, and everyone in the audience knows her story and what this song means to her and we're all crying a little, and then it all just fades away softly. And then she says "well, that wasn't half bad!" and launches into a fun, sweet southern number. 

this one, in fact:

Anyway, that's how pretty much the whole evening progressed: heart wrenching, beautiful ballads juxtaposed against fun, sometimes saucy, sometimes downright silly numbers. A few other favorite moments: after a gut-busting rendition of "Send in the Clowns," accompanied only by piano and oboe, as the applause is dying down an aging man in the balcony stands and hollers "bellisima, bella! Bellisima!" and blows her a kiss. A monologue about the current immigration debate, including just how much of the so called great American songbook was written by immigrants or first generation Americans; as she said "I don't know much about this issue, clearly. But I say, if they can write a song, better let 'em in." How her current obsession with youtube led her to include a Cole Porter song in one of her concerts for the first time. Then, for her encore, the whole orchestra put down their instruments, and the piano conductor barely touched the keys, and Cook sang "What a Wonderful World"... with NO MICROPHONE. In a several thousand seat theatre. And we heard her perfectly. It was truly magical. I got the impression that it was a tradition for her to sing her encore mic-less, but I can't be sure.

Ok ok ok ok ok I have to stop now. I want the internet world to know that I usually try to hide this side of my nature. Ever since moving to New York, though, I just keep feeling this strong, almost primal connection to the classics that I kind of glanced over as a teenager. I've been listening to An American in Paris over and over and over, marveling at the rich simplicity of the Gershwin orchestrations. And all the Rodgers and Hammerstein classics have been played at least once for the baby at work, maybe even three times in the case of South Pacific. I guess some part of me just feels called to that history again, to the kind of show that no one's writing anymore, to the part of New York that I'll never get to experience properly. But I caught a flashback tonight, and it made me more happy than I can truly express.

Aaaaaaaaaand to cancel out all that uber dorkiness, I've decided to close this posting with the following clip, which I feel is a nice bridge between the cult world of musical theatre and the cult world of classic Beatles:

Love to All!

The Leonard Saga

Hey everybody! Look what a good blogger I am lately. Five stars for me!

So for those of you who've been living in a cave without facebook, Sam and I have decided to adopt a dog. It's something we've wanted since forever, but we wanted to make sure we were happy with our living situation, had steady jobs, etc. before taking the plunge. So a week and a half ago, we realized that nearly all of those things were true (Sam is currently unemployed, more on this later, but that's proved to be a plus). So we started poking about on websites, mostly the excellent petfinder.com and came to the following conclusions:

1- despite our mutual love of them, a big dog was just out of the question. Our apartment is just toooooo small!

2- For that same reason, we needed to steer clear of anything in the terrier family, as they notoriously need tons of space and exercise. This eliminated a huge portion of adoptable small dogs.

3- For purely aesthetic reasons, no poodles, pomeranians, lhasa apsos, or pugs. We just ain't that kind a people. Again, eliminating enormous portions of the adoptable dog pool here.

4- We definitely wanted to adopt an older, house-trained, mellow dog. Puppies are great and all, but we just don't have the time to train a dog all that much. 

This put is into very narrow, heavily fished waters, but we were still optimistic because we had one thing going for us that no one else had (well, very few anyway): we really love funny looking dogs. Dogs that are a little quirky, who are obviously mutts, get us every time. And so after about a week of near constant net surfing, we found Leonard. 

It was a love at first sight kind of moment. I believe my exact words were "the ears, baby! the eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeears!!!" He was the first dog we filled out a full application for (we made contact about a few others, but didn't fill formal applications) and the only one we really had our hearts set on. We heard back almost immediately with an invitation to go meet him at his "foster mother's" house in brooklyn. 

We were very nervous. We spruced up, looked our best, bought a toy and some treats, and quizzed  each other on why we would make an awesome "forever family" for Len. When we arrived, however, we found that leonard lived with a bunch of girls our age in a, um, fixer-upper of an apartment. Despite a few awkward moments (I might have unintentionally implied that they were all really ugly or lesbians. within five seconds of walking in the door. And they had never heard of Leonard Nemoy or Spock, so our theories about how Leonard was named were shot to pieces, and they thought we were uber dorks. And sam accidently terrified poor Len with a squeaky toy, but was quickly forgiven) it was pretty clear that we would be a good match for him. And we found out that Leonard had been dropped off at the shelter in January, and in all those months we were the only people who had even met him, let alone wanted to adopt him. 

This brings us to more details about our new roomate:

- He's half Australian Cattle Dog, half Blue Heeler. That means in his younger days he was quite the runner, and even now he's most definitely an active Senior.

- He's about nine years old. We're not sure what his life expectancy is at the moment, but that certainly makes him an older dog. We're making a vet appointment for him tomorrow, so we'll know more soon. 

- He has a few small issues that led to him not being adopted for so long: despite his enormous ears, he's quite hard of hearing... so far, this has proven to be more hilarious than anything else. He also likes to be in control of walks, wandering all over, which wouldn't be a big deal in the suburbs, but in the city it could possibly be dangerous. So he wears a special kind of leash that helps him respond to tugs better. It makes me really sad, though, because it looks just like a muzzle, and I don't want people to think he's a meanie! Oh, and because of the hearing thing, his foster mom says he has a fear problem with other dogs. We've taken him on three walks now, and haven't seen any evidence of that, but we trust her.

- He also has some really delightful traits: he's very calm, mellow, but loves the outdoors. He frequently gets itches on his schnoz and rubs it on anything he can reach. He claims areas he likes, like his bed, by wiggling all over it and trying to burrow down into it. cutest. thing. ever. He also can give a guilt trip like no other, looking over his shoulder with those big sad eyes, flopping those big ears down... OMG I LOVE THIS DOG!!

Ok, ok, calming down. It's only been a day so far, but this just feels really right. He's settling in nicely, hardly nervous at all anymore, really relaxed. Sam is giddy as a puppy... right now they're lying on the rug on their tummies, bonding. Sam's been really worried about this unemployment stint that's been looming over him (his job was over once tax season was. I say thank goodness, his boss was a horrible human being and sam has plenty of money saved up). But now he has Leonard to occupy his time while he job hunts, and it's gonna be really good for them both. Although Sam may not be unemployed long, my boss is trying to get him a data entry type job at his hospital. Apparently it pays really well and has benefits! A good thing for a struggling young actor type to have.

So yeah, there will be frequent Leonard updates from now on. They may compete with baby updates (coming soon!) for adorableness. And when adorable things compete, we all win. 

Oh, and here are a bunch of pictures that are currently on Facebook as well, for those of you who can't access them there. HE'S SO CUTE!!!

Love to all!

The Newest, Yorkiest Night ever

What, Amy is updating again already? Can this be true? Yes, astonished internet reader, it IS true! Tell your friends. 

So what's prompting my break with lazy tradition? Oh, nothing much... only CELEBRITY SIGHTINGS! The one thing that everyone I talk to from back home always asks is "have you seen any famous people?" Normally my response is "Yeah, I've seen this (geeky theatre reference) and that (geeky theatre reference). Oh, and (geeky theatre reference) was starring in that one show, how cool is that?!" Normal people's response to my response is usually "Oh... that's cool." 

But not today, my friends. So, back up to Monday night. I'm just hanging out with Sam doing nothing special when my old pal Jenny Patell (btw, I owe you so huge, Jenny) drops a mysterious email in my lap. It is a link to a mysterious website, and nothing else. Not even a hello. So, I click the link, and what do I find? For no discernible reason, the 45 Bleecker Street theatre is hosting a 25 dollar show by.... drumroll.... EDDIE IZZARD!

We're going to take a quick break from my scintillating tale because I realized that many of my readers are of the family and, um, kinda old variety. Sorry y'all. So they may not know the glory of Izzard. Basically Eddie is is a british comedic icon. He's huge. He's a transvestite. It's hard to explain. I have friends (Abby and Leslie, don't deny it) who can have entire conversations in Izzardisms. Let me find an appropriate video clip, hang on.... 

ok, flash back to real time where I just spent a half hour laughing my head off at Eddie Izzard clips. Woops. So I just picked a little one that I really like. Plus it's a little more PG-13 than his other stuff:

So yeah, it was huge that he was playing in New York at all, let alone at a tiny little Greenwich theatre, for such a tiny price. Later we came to find out that this idea was kind of a lark between Izzard and another comedian, Mike Birbiglia, who has a show at that theatre every week. Izzard came to see the show and do a chat with Birbiglia afterwards, and they wondered what would happen if he were to do a show at 10 at night on a wednesday and advertise it solely via Twitter (which must have been how Jenny found it). The answer is massive, massive crowds. But we already had our tickets reserved, heh heh heh!

And who would be hanging out in the crowd just like any other normal type person? Kevin Spacey, boo ya! It was quite funny, Sam and I are standing there and he whispers to me "man, that guy up there is a real kevin spacey doppelganger." to which I reply "it can't be kevin spacey, he has too much hair!" And of course, it really was Kevin Spacey. Doh. He eventually worked his way up right by us at the main doors, and stood right in front of me. I touched his jacket.... on accident. I smelled his cologne (very old spicey. in fact, it probably was just old spice). Then he uses the awesome power of celebrity to get in to the ticket desk ahead of us, which prompted the british guy behind me to say "hey, where does that wanker think he's going?!" to which I replied "Um, it's Kevin Spacey." to which HE replied "Oh bloody hell! woops." And everyone laughed and we all became fast friends. 

And so the show begins. Oh. my. lord. I have never seen anything so monstrously entertaining, so gloriously hilarious, so... so... so... FREAKIN' AWESOME in my entire life. The best moment of the show was Izzard was riffing on people Twittering and getting up to go to the bathroom during his shows, when Kevin Spacey just jumps up from his seat, and walks onstage past Izzard backstage. The crowd goes wild, of course. Then he comes back onstage with his I-phone and stands there and twitters "On stage with Eddie the caveman Izzard" and then goes to sit back down again. I could go on and on and on about every funny moment, but I won't because eventually you'll be able to buy it on DVD or see it in a great big arena with everyone else, and I want you all to be surprised. And I'm greedy. 

So the show ends, and to kind of pump up his show Mike Birbiglia comes onstage to do a little bit of an interview with Izzard. So he's asking a question and says "... so yeah, the show's great, and all of a sudden that guy from K-Pax is running onstage (big laugh) naw, it's ok man, everybody makes bad movies (crowd goes "ooooooooooh")." Izzard: "Any response, Kevin?" (big laugh).  Spacey, from the crowd "Screw You, man!" (HUGE laugh). 

And so a glorious evening came to an end. As we were filing out, all the celebrity types went to hang out onstage, including Jane Kracinski of 30 Rock who had apparently been in the audience as well. And Eddie Izzard pours them all some wine into little dixie cups. And I said to myself, someday, Amy. Someday. 

Ok, I'm now going to be late to my already half day of work, I hope you can all appreciate this. The sacrifices I make!

Love to all