A Christmas Story

Friends, I am writing this under the influence of Vicoden. A great deal of Vicoden. So if it's less than coherent, please forgive me. Why, you may ask, am I on oh-so-much lovely Vicoden? Well, I'll tell you: Santa was not so kind to me this year. 

I've had an earache for about a week now. It wasn't serious until Sunday night, which also happened to be my birthday. We had a couple friends over for dinner, and then Sam took me to see In The Heights (a fab new musical I've been dying to see. It was SO GOOD). However, the combination of the subway ride and the loud music way amped up the pain in my ear, so I started using home remedies on it- hot compresses, tylenols of various sorts, even slightly warmed olive oil (don't judge, the internet said it would work). But the pain just kept increasing, and increasing until Wednesday I couldn't take it anymore. Now a little fact about New York: there are lots of walk-in clinics, which is great, except they're ALL on Saturdays and Sundays. All of them. So I went to the emergency room; I had no other choice, and I really needed the antibiotics. After waiting for four hours, a doctor spent less than five minutes looking at my ear, prescribed some drops, and sent me on my merry way. 

Fast forward to the middle of Christmas Day. I've used the drops three times now, and they haven't been helping. In fact the pain is getting worse. In even more fact, I woke up from a nap crying and shrieking in pain. Sam and I can't figure out if the increased pain is just part of my disease, or if I'm having an allergic reaction. It being Christmas day, none of the phone numbers or websites or any contact stuff I got from the hospital is being put through. I'm still sobbing and Sam panics and calls 911 for advice. They promptly send EMT's (since that is, after all, their main job). Now Sam and I just want to know if this is an allergic reaction or if the pain is supposed to happen. That's all. But the neither the EMT's or the 911 folks will give us an opinion. Not even a carefully hedged one. And thus I took my first Ambulance ride... for an ear infection. No one has ever felt such extreme humiliation. Yes, I was in a lot of pain, but come on, an ear infection??!! I still feel ridiculous. 

And of course, as soon as we get to the hospital, I'm sent right back to the very waiting room I spent four hours in the day before. Unlike last time, I'm shuffled into the ER very promptly and given a bed/waiting area all to myself... which I then spend 6 hours in. Around the 4th hour I see the doctor, a very sweet old asian woman who promptly wanted to switch my drops (no one thought I'd actually had an allergic reaction, but clearly something was going on) and give me pain medication. Great. However, because of some hospital policy I didn't understand, she had to check with another doctor before she was allowed to do this. This man, a stately older fellow with perfectly white hair, thought the lady was insane and insisted that despite my throbbing ear I did not, in fact, have an ear infection: I had a toothache. They proceeded to argue loudly right there in my little bed area, taking turns shoving scopes into my ears, which hurt so badly I started crying again. Finally the small asian woman stood on her tiptoes and shook a finger in the man's face, yelling "This girl clearly in pain! EAR PAIN! You crazy and I will not send her to dentist for no reason! She need new medicine RIGHT NOW!" The man doctor huffed loudly and stalked away, followed by the lady doctor muttering loudly to herself in what I assume was her native language. About an hour later she called me over to the nurse's desk, handed me a prescription for Vicoden, a different brand of ear drops, and the name of a doctor who might accept my insurance who could check me out in about ten days. She patted me on the arm, told me to completely dismiss what the man doctor had told me, and said "Next time you come emergency room in pain, you make sure they give you pain medicine, ok? Make sure this don't happen again." 

And so I left once more (rescuing poor Sam from the waiting room, where he'd been the last 6 hours), travelled over 50 blocks into the bronx to find the one pharmacy open that late on Christmas day, and at long long last took some Vicoden. I've been on it ever since, and my ear is still not very happy. It feels all plugged and swollen and throbby, but I can't feel the pain, and so I'm content. Hopefully these new drops will start working soon, and I can take a shower (you're not allowed to get water in the ear while the infection is still bad), but I believe the worst is over. 

So that's my first New York Christmas. Not really what I had hoped for... but I really did feel cared for by my doctor, and the pharmacist rushed my order, and the taxi driver was willing to wait for us at the pharmacy, and so I still love this city. In the end, the people came through for me. Oh, and about five minutes ago our new super here at 75 Thayer St. delivered a new fridge!! Ours has been broken since Thanksgiving, so this is truly a Christmas miracle. Hopefully I'll talk to most of you soon once I can hear out of this ear again. 

Merry Christmas, and Love to all!!!